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A Love Of a Brother

Never feel like that..

You should learn to take care of yourself

You are growing up "she advised"

Yet...I need some company

Atleast to have tea together

Anyway I will manage "He nodded"

Never expect a company in everything

You have to be independent

You are not a kid, anymore "she continued"

I don't know how to explain

It's not loneliness

It's a different feel...

Well ...chuck it "He nodded again"

Whatever.. Never ponder over silly things

Everything wil change soon

Never ever feel lonely "she continued"

No...I will not !"He nodded"

Be alright ! Though you feel lonely

Enjoy your loneliness " she uttered"

I would have...

If I didn't know you" He corrected"

"You don't really care for it"?
"Don't you"?
Nope... But something is bothering
I feel emptied and worried
Let it go... There is always an other chance
In fact this was not your cup of tea
I knew... Still am not able to accept
Will I face a similar problem again?
Well... Future is unpredictable
Still.. Everything happens for a reason right
"You never really worked for it"
" Don't you" ?
Yes.. But when I see others
I guess
I should have
Ridiculous ! When have you learnt to compare me with others?
Do you even know ?
Your own five fingers are different
So...what have you decided?
I don't know..
What does it even mean?
I am confident less...!!!
So what if you fail..
There is always an other chance
But what if am lazy...
Don't u even know
I wil never feel lazy when you do something which you love"
"Ok let's stop arguing...
I just need to rest" the brain demanded
"You are worrying for something which was not even your desire" the heart whispered
Then what shall I do...
"Do what your heart says" cos
Where is your heart is you are !!

A child's cry

It's horrible they fought and gone
It's even more horrible
My school bag weighed heavy
I noticed it was locked from outside
Yet I believed
It will be opened soon by them
I waited... I waited
The sun was preparing itself to go west
And I just wondered
Where I can take rest...
And now it's time for supper
Yet am standing all alone
Still believing the door will be opened soon
I saw a boy as of mine
Playing outside....
meanwhile being fed by his parents
And am standing all alone
Waiting for my parents...
Dark became darker leading to the darkest
I gathered my courage and went near them
And I asked..
"Can you give me some food? Am very hungry"
And I still remember ..
they were my life savour that moment
It was getting late....
When everyone went back to sleep
I went back to the process of waiting
And it was 3 A.M
I saw a light appealing towards me
I found it was my father...
I hugged him with all tears
And I asked him"why u didn't think of me"?
He said" I thought she would have"
Days rolled down...
Now I asked my mom recollecting everything
She said"I thought he would have"
Thus I said myself
"Both should have considered a child's cry"

The unwanted revisit

There was a weird pain
when her phone flashes his name
she thought its a revisit
her fingers confused her to text
her mind convinced her to read
and
her heart convicted her to give a rep(l)ay
Unlike her old days
she is strong today
"are u free today" he asked
only to share her body with him
She knew his need was pleasure
She knew her need was love
caught between pleasure and love
there was a concussion in her mind
slowly she replied
"why so?"
and she tasted her tears when it rolled deep down her lips
she grew....
more stronger
more brave
more confident
terminating her feelings
she cleared her fingers not to text
she convinced her mind not to bother
and
ultimately
she convicted her heart saying
after all..
He is an "unwanted visitor"

It's not an Adieu

And it happened

last night...

could be my other fault

even could be my other blunder

I uttered those words

"hope to see you again"

And it happened

today...

I met those eyes which never looked at me back

The heart which never loved me back

yet I knew I was strong

knowing the fact

It's not an Adieu

At some point...of course

It is an yes...

but only from the one who doesn't worth staying

At other point

understanding the fact

Adieu is to be received

from the one who is worthy of staying

and who is worthy of saying

now here both my heart and mind murmur

"Idiot ...why do you worry

when did she ever stay in your life

to bid adieu"

Because she loved him

She texted him first
only to confirm whether that was
"him"
He replied her in a second
confirming that it was just him
They continued their conversation
starting from texting till dating
They ate together
roamed together
And at last
slept together
Now she texted him again
only to confirm whether she is
his love?
He replied after a day
confirming that he needs sometime
she continued to ask reasons
she did her best
she stayed true
No matter...
The relationship continued
but only she loved him
only she longed for him
only she took him out
and only she paid the bills
Now she texted him again
only to confirm that still
she longs for him
He replied after a week
confirming that he needs to settle
she continued to wait
she did her best
she loved him truly
whatsoever...
The relationship continued
but only she waited
for all the seasons
only she could be patient
despite his injustice
years passed...
Now she texted him again
only to confirm that still she waits
he replied after a month
confirming that he needs to earn a lot
she continued to wait
wait...wait...wait for long years
many years passed..
now he texted her
only to confirm whether she still
thinks of him
He received a reply in a second
A text that confirms from her phone
of course she still waits
but not in this universe

On the same date

The calendar showed
It was 23 June
I know I went again
To recheck
I pulled my pal outside
only to confirm whether
that was "she"
yes...there she was
Looked more beautiful
A real beauty that consumed all
Beauty apps
I spoke
I chat
I laughed
just with her
only with her forgetting the
whole earth
I don't remember
When did I sleep
When did I wake up
when did I study
When did I eat
But I did remember
That she was always in my mind
Days passed
She didn't express
but I did
slowly and steadily
The calendar said
It was 8 august
And my mind was made up
for a proper proposal
And it happened...
Yes...many things happened
I was happened to see herself
Her real color
The color which rejected me
The color which made sure
"I was not the one"
The color which screwed me
with an attitude
Again...
Days passed yet
Mine was not
I spoke
I chat
I laughed
But not with her
And it happened again
"Hey, he has broken his head"
My friend screamed
People around were shocked
To see a person hurts himself
with a beer bottle
"Are you okay? are you mad?"
Another voice screamed
I slowly opened my eyes
I know I couldn't see
It was blur
Yet the date was clear
The calendar spoke
It was 23 June

If u hate me

If you hate me
Give me a second
See my eyes which directs you to my brain
Brain that always think about you
Go to my vocal and dig
since it always speak about you
Check my ears too because it always wanna hear you
And finally
Go to my heart which beats for you
Still its your choice
If you love me stay along with it
even then
wait
If u hate me
Give me a second

Unconditional Love

I was so mean
I now know, I was blind
Oh my beloved ! I
sincerely apologize for my overlook
I now know, I was blind
to notice your care
to notice your power
to notice your truth
and....finally
to notice you "yourself"
I was so stupid
to hurt someone like you
I was so unjust
to unsupport someone like you
Oh my beloved ! I
sincerely apologize for my overlook
For now I know
your will guides me
your plan protects me
and for ever...
you will never stop loving me
Now,
I do regret
I do repent
Because I know, I am not blind now
and
Because I came to know that
It was only me
who nailed you on the cross.

Birthday

Its not that everyday I wake up
like this...
Its not that everyday I pray
like this...
Its not that everyday I react
like this...
Its not that everyday I smile
like this...
Why this day is always special
Is it only for me ?
or
for others too
Whether I feel special
or this day makes me so
I know I can't be born again
Maybe....that's why
I come across a day like this...
To be born again
To smile again
To cry again
and...why not
ultimately
To live again
on this BIRTHDAY

Expressive Eyes

Yes it spoke to me a lot
Not your lips but
your eyes
when your palms hugged
when your shoulders embraced
your eyes spoke to me
its just seemed to be looking
yet my heart understood it's quest
your eyes conveyed too much
I wonder
Is that your powerful weapon
or
your worst weakness
whatever it could be...
It has the power
The power to convey anything
The power to share something
Even when your lips were zipped
your eyes never stopped conveying
and.....I wish
I could never stop receiving
Till the end.

Reality

And that moment
when tears keep rolling down
uncontrollably
wondering what could be the reason
sensing the fact
realizing the truth
life is after all not fair with everyone
To break the good hearted
To please the fake
To serve the undeserved
To punish the deserved
wish everything has a reason
Atleast then...
ultimately
one gets a reason
to stay alive

Society

There he stands
someone who prefers silence....
people wondered how one could
always prefer being silent!!!
some said his shyness stops him...
Many murmured he must be reserved ..
above lines only depicted him but her words
just describes him...
There she enters....
her eyes glanced at him still she kept moving...
slowly her diary spoke about him...
"He is neither shy nor reserved
he is someone who understood the society
society which runs behind mere imitations
which lack true freedom
society which loves to wear masks
rather than real face
he became interesting not because he is silent
but
because society made him so"
ultimately ...
she penned about the real tears in a fake chortle

I don't know

I don't know
I don't remember exactly
I was hurt
I was humiliated
I was put into pleasure but
mixed with pain
I don't know why I even bore all that
I don't know to explain explicitly
At times...
I wonder why I don't know
May be both my heart and mind
Don't know
That.....after all
It loves you unconditionally <3

Obsession

It may sound weird
But truly there is none
I do wonder
Why its always you
Both in my heart and mind
But truly there is none
Either its a curse or a prayer
Either to do or to die
It should be only for you
Either its a fight or a hug
Either its a pain or pleasure
It should be only from you
What should i call this ?
Madness ? Love? Addiction ?
Well.. the best name is
" obsession "
Very much obsessed...
That I end up in forgetting myself
Obsessed to talk with you
Though there is no content
Obsessed to do anything for you
Though not necessary
Obsessed to live for you
Though not sure about the destiny
Where this obsession would lead to....?
I wish it could lead your heart towards mine
So much so that
Both will get obsessed with no objection .

Being bewildered

And that's the time
My heart beat fast
Where it couldn't hear
Anyone's words
When it couldn't understand
Anyone's thoughts
It's not just the people
But the situation
Made it crunch
Split it hard
Finally
Broken into pieces.
It's not pain
It's not hurt
More cruelest than that
Yes...
It's called "confusion "
Where situation teaches you
the worst
To become the best
Still..." The confusion "
Makes you mourn
Breaks you hard
And leave you undecided .

Positive Thoughts

No reply from him
No response from others
No answer from your own heart
When you feel
" there is no bond"
When you realize
"Nothing is permanent "
When you understand
" worries don't change anything"
When you lose yourself
In unwanted thoughts
In unnecessary confusions
A single voice comes out
Saying
In fact singing....
Which could b heard only by you
Making you to understand
Life is worth the living
When
You have positive thoughts

Footboard Journey

I stand on the footboard

Where people step in

From outside

To inside

For the pursuance of journey

And

I stand either inside

Or outside but on the footboard

Realizing... The fact

"What is meant for U is only for you"

Journeying with my own thoughts

Came to know....The

World outside me

Thoughts inside me

And

Desire within me

Finally got the conclusion

I know am standing on the footboard

But standing independently

very much clear about the fact that

My mind is blank and free

It is so much unoccupied that

finally I end up falling in love

With my own life .

To learn again

To enjoy again

Ultimately

To live again

Memory

Never moved off...
stored inside me...
saved within me...
It was apt in my eyes...
It was unfaded in my heart...
still wondering...
whether it will fade away
Then..it just striked
both my heart and mind
of course....it won't
because....
Its the memory given by you <3

Self-Confidence

When did you lose?
And where it is?
Let you go and search
Not on the streets...
Not on your bags...
Not among your pals
Not among your foes
Then where?
Its just in..."you"
I suppose you must listen
to your mind
I guess you must hear your
own beat
probably you will understand
that lies only in you
Nothing but your
CONFIDENCE
henceforth search in you
grab it close
strengthen it bigger
and....never
dare to lose

What do i call this ??

I think my heart skipped a beat Every second you moved closer.... The beautiful smile on your face The innocent look in your eyes Nothing more could mesmerize me... It's very hard to forget my first walk with you I will really cherish those moments I never dreamt of this day It was many days my eyes searched you I never dreamt it would meet you today It was many days I longed to talk to you I didn't get a clue that it would happen today I have no name to call this relationship But all I wish for.... Just you

Twenty 7

Its ' twenty 7

Yes... it's the date

In the midst of darkness

With the help of serial lights

Just saw him .

Texted to confirm whether it was him

And the reply was " yes"

Continued with the chats, despite

There was only twenty 7 foot distant

We spoke

We shared

We greeted

We laughed, together through text

But

Never knew it would end

Never knew it had a full stop

Never knew, he was not a person

Rather my emotion

Never knew his absence would darken my world

Never knew, he would be my priority

To him.. It's the situation

For me... It's the destiny

To him.. It's just the moment

For me... it's the beginning of my life

But now.. whose fault ?

His? Or God's?

Ultimately a soul suffers at the end

Longing for the twenty 7 again.

Insecureness

This is what i have

Both in my mind and in my heart

Whenever he smiles at her

What am feeling now?

Whenever he stands beside her

How should i name it?

The heart longs for him though

The mind knows the truth

When nothing happened bad

How come things go worse?

It's just the pain

A feel that overwhelms my heart

After all, it's just the feel

A feel that dumbs my mind

Wish i could be his need

Longing to be his, which

Probably could not

Wish he could smile at me

Wish he could walk with me

Could have born as her

I wish......I

Atleast to have smiled at him back

Her unspoken words

There she stands... Neither in the centre nor in the corner Holding back her words Something stops her.... Maybe her pain or maybe her ecstasy No matter what it is ! All that matters were HER UNSPOKEN WORDS The words which have so much to convey The words which have so much to confirm Wandering to wait for her talk In silence, I stand for her Neither in the centre nor in the corner Waiting.... til my mind gets perplexed Then.... Somewhere something strikes.. " be as u are " chides my heart "She never speaks" instructs my mind To whom should i listen... Mind ? Heart? And What should i decide Well.... Atlast I do realize The decision decides who I'm Who I am ultimately Just for her

His Voice

And i saw HIM today I knew my heart skipped a beat I saw the love of my life The love which never reciprocated I knew i got goosebumps When he started singing.. I knew a drop of tears kissed my cheeks When my ears listened to that nightingale The voice which has told my name The voice which has mesmerized me Wish i could go and talk to him I knew my eyes didn't stop looking at him I knew even my legs followed him Waiting jus to hear his voice only for me

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Navigation

Sumfeelingsrmeant2bhidden

A Love Of a Brother

Mind Vs Heart

A child's cry

The unwanted revisit

It's not an Adieu

Because she loved him

On the same date

If u hate me

Unconditional Love

Birthday

Expressive Eyes

Reality

Society

I don't know

Obsession

Being bewildered

Positive Thoughts

Footboard Journey

Memory

Self-Confidence

What do i call this ??

Twenty 7

Insecureness

Her unspoken words

His Voice